Progress
I have problems doing things over the long term, or following through on things over the long term. There's a steady stream of project ideas, goals, tasks that come into focus for me, and reaching out, I can't quite grasp them. Ideas have been on my "todo" list for years, but anytime I actually try to sit down for an afternoon, and evening, a weekend day, an hour, 20 mins, the means of pursuit for the ideas drifts away.
Maybe there's an outlet to hold myself accountable, like a blog, that could work. I like to think in terms of other people. I will go wildly out of my way not to inconvenience other people. Doing things that require thinking, however, is a different story. Mental toil for others, no mater how much I enjoy the idea of the project, becomes a challenge. As soon as the problems no longer become "easy", when I can no longer see the solution staring me down in the face, I recede. Its for another time, another day, another month, another year.
Yet at the same time, I see the people who proceed, and do the things I consider difficult, and are rewarded with positions, responsibility, respect. Internally I long for those things, I long to make something I can look back proudly on.